Friday, August 15, 2008

Feeling God's Heart

I've been praying hard this week about a prayer ministry for my church's middle and high school girls. It is something that God placed on my heart two years ago. For two years I've been disobedient by not pursuing this opportunity. This week I pitched the disobedience in the trash where it belonged. I contacted the lady who shepherds our girls. I told her my sad story of disobedience, my call to action from God and my sense that God wanted this done now. I was feeling so bad about being disobedient. But God (don't you love those two words) redeemed it. She mentioned that another parent had approached her about a prayer ministry. She feels also that the timing is now. Only God can take your disobedience and use it in His perfect timing. Just read the story of Jonah if you don't believe me!

So the rest of the day, I prayed for God's heart for these girls. I prayed for revelation and wisdom for either myself or another who would be involved in this ministry. We want to move forward as God would have us, not as we think we should. We want this to be His ministry from start to finish and everywhere in between. Well ladies, God did not fail me. I truly felt the verse " He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you." (John 16:14, NIV)

God's heart is breaking for our pre-teen and teen girls. How do I know? Because that night I felt it. My heart physically felt like it was breaking. It was more painful to me than when my dad died. I was completely overwhelmed. I thought, "Oh Father, is this how you feel when we reject you? Is this how you feel when we choose other than the best you have for us? Oh Father how do You stand it? I cannot bear this pain!" And I would fall to my knees and pray and cry. This happened many times that night.

There is a song by Israel Houghton and New Breed and in it is say"Break my heart with the things that break Your heart". I have sung that so many times in my car and home. Never did I think God would actually take me up on it! But He surely did.

I have no idea how the prayer ministry will look when it comes to fruition. But I know that it is God's heart for our girls. They have no idea how privileged they are to have a God who loves them so much. I certainly feel privileged that this same God has chosen to love me that much as well.

I share this not to bring glory to myself but to point to God. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is very real. We are told in scripture:

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children" (Romans 8:16, NIV)

""No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" - but God has revealed it to us by His spirit" (1 Corinthians 2:9-10, NIV)

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Corinthians 4:7)

God is still active among us. We only need to draw near and seek Him wholly to see and feel His work. He will show Himself in miraculous ways. I believe He desires to demonstrate His love for us and His plan for us in ways we could never imagine. I experienced the miraculous, not because of me but because He desired to reveal Himself. There is nothing about me that deserved such a marvelous gift. And because of that I praise Him! Oh how I praise Him.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. " (Psalm 34:8-10)


Amy said...

I also know the shame of active disobedience when it comes to something God wants me to do. I have been so stubborn so many times.
But He is always good, amen?:)

I'm so glad you pitched the disobedience into the trash, and followed God's lead. It is so overwhelming to hear Him speak His desires for your life into your heart, isn't it?
I look forward to hearing where He takes you in this new ministry.
There are some very blessed teenage girls that don't even begin to know how much they are loved.

God Bless,

Runner Mom said...

Oh, Mari--girlfiend!! I am right there with you--you know that! I loved this post!! Wow!! I will be praying for this ministry with the girls. God just answered another prayer about our High School girls' ministry yesterday! Oh, He is awesome. Can't wait to see what He's gonna do next!!
Love ya,

Ellie said...

Never been to your blog before. I think it is very nice! Also, I love love love the book Little Women(found on your profile)!!!!

I hope to hear back from you.


Jenny said...

Now if that isn't a God-honoring post, I don't know what is. It's amazing how God can take even our disobedience and use it for His Glory. That's just stunning.

Thanks for your obedience. It's a fantastic encouragement.

Beachy Mimi said...

I loved this post. I can't wait to see what God will do with your willing heart.