The Truth Heals

Well it's our last chapter of Lisa Whittle's book Behind Those Eyes. This has been a fabulous and life-changing book. I am sad to send it end. Lisa did a wonderful job with this book, allowing God to use her to get after us about "the hard stuff". Thank you Lisa for your obedience!

I know this post is really late, but that's what happens when your Internet connection goes bye-bye for no apparent reason. So without further ado, let's wrap up. Remember all items in orange are direct quotes from Lisa.

"The truth is, in one way or another, we all show people the "us" we want them to see." You know, like when you are yelling at your kids and the phone rings. You don't answer it and growl "Hello" in to the receiver. Oh no. You put on your sweetest, most syrupy voice so you appear calm, cool and collected. Or how about when you and your husband had a disagreement on the way to the small group get- together and when you arrive, you act like he's the love of your life. You want to strangle his neck, but no one will ever know that if they are waiting for you to reveal it to them. These are just small examples but you get my drift. We all do it.

But aren't we supposed to be trying to be more authentic and real to people? That's my goal. Is it yours? If so then we need to embrace and live out the truth. What is the truth? Well Lisa laid it out very plainly for us.

Truth #1: Recognition

God created you exactly the way you are, with your unique personality and temperament, since He is incapable of making a mistake.

So that means He meant to give you that curly hair, freckles, wide hips, or crooked teeth. He knew exactly what He was doing when He made you impatient, shy, outspoken, compassionate, math savvy or forgetful. Quit being stressed out, angry or sad about it. He absolutely, unequivocally right "on the money" with how He made you.

Honey, if He made you exactly the way you wanted to be, would you depend on Him for anything? Would you want His presence the way you do now? I bet not. You'd be too busy admiring how great you were. Personally, I'd rather have more of God and less of Mari. Really.


Truth #2: Admission

God created you with a free will to choose your behavior and mess up your life.

Yeah and we do such an excellent job of messing up our lives. From time to time I wax nostalgic. I try not to do it often because there is a lot I'd like to forget. Stupid decisions, silly mistakes. I am still living with the consequences of a few of those. Lisa tells us that "God is quick not only to forgive us; He is quick also to restore us." And thank Him for that. I've been restored so many times. I am so grateful for that part of who God is to me, to us.

What's even better, He not only restores us but "God often uses broken people - the people with the most baggage - for His honor and glory." Think about it. Who better to help you in your situation than someone who has walked through it, been forgiven and restored and is now available to you by God's grace and design. Don't tell me God doesn't know what He is doing. He surely does.

Truth #3: Resolution

God created us to discern and discover who we are and where we function most effectively, without trying to be someone else.

Can I be honest? I no longer care to use my precious energy to attempt impersonation. It's enough work just being me. Add in trying to be someone else and you might as well just lay me out on the sofa for the rest of my life. Since God made me the way I am, I think I'll just let Him decide what to change and when to change it. If he chooses not to, then I need to spend my energy saying "Lord help me accept your decision." That's a much better use of time because it draws me closer to Him.

When it's all said and done, here is what is left. I am, you are, we are "completely flawed yet forgiven completely; an awesome spirit being, truly loved and accepted by God."

Go forth ladies and be YOU. And be blessed by the the Truth, Jesus the Christ.

****Stop by Lelia's for more insight on this closing chapter. You'll be able to check out the next study that begins January 6, 2009.*****

Completely Flawed Yet Forgiven Completely

Wow - what a title. What a concept! I'm talking about Lisa Whittle's book Behind Those Eyes that we've been studying for several weeks. All bold orange text are direct quotes from Lisa.

Lisa states "It's an absolute truth that we women, as people and as followers of Christ, are completely flawed and yet completely forgiven." Completely flawed. Yes that would be me. Completely forgiven. Praise God, that's me too. At the same time.

One year, the leader of a bible study I was in, made keepsake books for us. Each member had to write something positive about each of the other ladies in the group. She then had someone write these comments and verses in a wonderful scrapbook for us. As I read through the comments on each page, all I could think was, "Wow, is this what they see?" I was blown away. Much of what was written was probably really true. But much of what was not written was also true.

What things? Things like I've been in the pit. Many times. I've been in deep ones, shallow ones and wide ones. Heck, I've even dug the pit and leapt in with both feet and with eyes W I D E open.

I'm not perfect. No one is - except Jesus. It's good to know the good things about yourself. But it's also good to be aware of those rooms that we either need to unlock so Jesus can get in and make assessment of how much redecorating is needed or ones where we need to ask Him to please do some spring cleaning.

I don't mind being flawed. I mean I hate it in its truest sense because it's sin. However I don't mind it because it keeps me on my knees, pressed in to my LORD. Lisa expressed it so well when she said "For if there were no flaw, there would be no reason for forgiveness. And then we wouldn't get to see the awesome power of God miraculously at work in our lives." I'll just add a big AMEN!

Ladies, despite the sin I've been in, the pits I've sat in, the mud and muck I've been mired in, I'm forgiven. And guess what? You are too! Beth Moore often says no one has been in a bigger pit of sin. I often say "Ah sweet Beth, I'm just not so sure. I've lived me for 43 years. I'm not sure you can claim that one." Not that it's worth claiming anyway, other than to let people realize that God can forgive anything. Anything? Yes.

I'm reminded of the commercial where the lady is with her friends and they are admiring some decorating she's done. They're looking at the "do-it-yourself" book asking her if she did that. And she responds I did that, with this (referring to book). And then the conversation goes some thing like this.

"What about that?

" Yes that"

"And that?"

"That."

"Even that?"

"Even that!"

I imagine us asking Jesus if He can forgive that thing we did. And He says, "Yes I can forgive that."

"Well Lord, what about that? Surely you can't forgive me for that."

"Yes, I can forgive that too."

"And that ?" (referring Him to yet another major transgression)

"That too"

Saving the biggest, doosiest (yes I made that word up just now) sin for last, we think we've found something He can't forgive. So we gingerly point it out. And we whisper, "Lord, even that?"

Triumphantly, He holds out His nail ridden hands and bows His head towards His nail ridden feet and He boldly professes, "Even that!"

"Jesus Christ loves and forgives you without conditions. Period."

He forgives it all. Even that.

"While Satan would love for you to believe that you are to flawed and too unworthy of forgiveness, Jesus wants you to know that nothing could be farther from the truth."
Again I say, AMEN.

I leave you tonight with a song. I thought of it as soon as I saw the verse, Psalm 103:12. I knew I would include a video of it. Imagine my delight, seeing it referenced by Lisa in the study questions.

Listen and know that, yes, you are completely flawed. But moreover, you are forgiven completely.

Be sure to stop by Lelia's and read more insight on this chapter. You will surely be blessed, as is my prayer for you always.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" Psalm 103:12

Completely Loved and Accepted Completely

I missed posting last week. I'm going to post on Lisa Whittle's book, Behind Those Eyes, this week but in a truly different way. (As usual bold orange text are direct quotes from Lisa)

I find posting hard to do this week. Besides my fibromyalgia, two deaths in my family and something that happened tonight that broke my heart, I have something else that is heavy on my heart. So in this post I speak my heart so that I can let God heal it when I'm done. And then I'll move on, with some of you and, I'm sad to say, probably without some of you. Either way, God will still completely love me and accept me completely.

All over blogland and TV and radio, I hear people speaking of fear and how America made a bad choice on November 4, 2008. Many are Christians.

I don't even pretend to know if we made the right choice or not. I'm not God and frankly neither is anyone else. I know there are some real and true and strong Christians that were not dismayed by the choice that was made. And they, we, are being made to feel like we are not true Christians because of our choice.

But I can say that even though I feel condemned by my fellow Christians for my choice, I know God still loves me. Because as Lisa said, "Someone who would go to the trouble of counting the number of hairs on your head (Matt 10:30) loves you entirely and accepts you completely, with sheer abandon." That's enough for me - every day - even today.

Lisa also said: "Whether we desire Him or not, we are irresistibly desired by God." That's great news to me today. I need to know that He desires me. And He still desires for me to spend time with Him, so He can remind me He is in control. And since we really don't know His plan I can say, "Ah sovereign Lord, I trust you, even in this time of division and strife. I trust you even as I trusted you during the past eight years when I thought a wrong choice had been made on a November 4th. "

So tonight as the sadness over all that is going on in my own life here in Raleigh and in this world envelopes me, I cling to a verse Lisa listed:

"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delights in you, He will quiet you with His love" Zephaniah 3:17

I encourage you to stop by Lelia's blog for very different perspectives on this week's study. Mine is just that, mine. There are many ways to process this material and I think it is imperative that you look into what other's got out of this chapter.


Now, I am going to go spend some time with the "amazing heavenly Dad I have."


As Always, be blessed.

Ms. Spirtuality

Another bible study week people! Today we are dissecting, umm, I mean discussing Ms. Spirituality from Behind Those Eyes, Lisa Whittle's book. Orange items are direct quotes from Lisa's book.

Ms. Spirituality. She could make you think yourself a slacker. Really, she could. Here are her "merit badges of honor" when she's really "dressed to impress" (combined lists from pg 78)

• Attends church, Sunday school and mid week services and leads at least one ministry


• Volunteers for nonprofits, Christian organizations and starts up a Christian organization


• Knows proper "Christianese" and uses it frequently in her journals, blogs and her own devotionals (authored by her of course)


• Collects money from others and gives away her own money to the less fortunate


• Listens to Christian music and Christian radio and watches only Chrsitian TV . **On a normal week that is. On a dressed to impress week the list reads like this**: Has no cable or XM radio..and if she's really spiritual, she has no TV!


• Often wears a Christian pin or T-shirt and has a Christian bumper sticker oe=r emblem on her car and has a personalized Christian license plate


• Attends more than two women's conferenes a year, or coordinates at least one


• Prays for missionaries faithfully and goes on overseas mission trips each year.

Anyone have a pillow and blanket. I need a nap. I'm worn out just reading this list. Whew!

Lisa point sout that "Ms. Spirituality doesn't pick and choose, but rather does all of them. And most of the time, she does all these things well." One word in a critical phrase struck me. Most of the time. I pondered that word most. That meant sometimes she did not do them well. She was probably overworked, stretched too thin, worn out. You know what? That's not what God requires of us. He's not looking for performance. Does He want us to do good deeds? Yes. Does He want us to serve the Body? Yes. Does He want us to use our giftedness? YES.

It reminds me of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-41). Mari, I mean Martha would be Ms. Spirituality. She was there running around cleaning, cooking, decorating, passing judgement. Yep, I said it. She passed judgement on her sister Mary. "I'm doing all this very important stuff and what is she doing, nothing. "

Jesus' response to Martha is the same response He has for us today. "...only one thing is needed." What??!! One thing? ONE thing? But don't you see my list LORD, how much I do for you and your kingdom. I mean surely You can't mean ONE thing. (Oh yeah, that's me talking to God this time last year.)

What's the one thing? Relationship/fellowship with Him. Lisa states: "He is seeking today what He has always been interested in getting from us: a relationship with Him that is pure of heart and motive, the only goal in mind being to honor Him by doing His will."

In Ms. Spirituality's list above, where is the "sit down and pour out your heart to God"? Where is the "read the Word just because and let it settle in your heart and mind afresh"? Where is the "be still and know that He is God"? Where is the" I will listen for Your still small voice LORD speaking directly to me"? Where are those things?

I submit to you that they are not there. There is no time for that. You're too busy at the next performance to make the practice session for what He really wants you to do. I know. I was Ms. Spirituality. But God....

Knocked me on my behind and said "Listen! I want you to want me, not the approval and admiration of others. When I call you to do something, it won't go off well. It will be spectacular because I'll be in charge. In the mean time, know ME, love ME, seek approval from ME. I promise you will never regret it." It was the hardest lecture I ever listened to. Why? Because I had been misguided and left my first love, Jesus, for the love of performance, adulation and admiration. I was ashamed and repentant.

I gave up a lot of good things to be obedient to my God. And you know what, He has, as always, kept His promise. I don't regret it. Do I long for it sometimes? Sure, Ms. Spirituality tries to rear her head from time to time. She does make a cameo here and there. But I'm learning to tell her that all God wants is me.

Before you head over to Lelia our wonderful bible study leader's blog and join in with the other ladies participating in this study, let me leave you with one last thought. Lisa introduced us to a real spiritual woman, the woman with the blood problem (Luke 8:42-28). Allow me to introduce her to you in a different way. Enjoy and as always be blessed!

Ms. Happiness

So this week we are looking at Ms. Happiness from Behind Those Eyes, Lisa Whittle's book. Orange items are direct quotes from Lisa's book.

What incredible timing. Today I put on my fake smile and went to work. No one had any idea my fibromyalgia was flaring up and I was in a lot of pain. No one knew that I was tired of dealing with my clients who tell blatant lies to get their way. I was Ms. Happiness today, as I am many other days.

May I share something? Pretending to be Ms. Happiness is not fun. Lisa said "someone can easily impersonate happiness without having it." Personally I think she's a cousin of Ms. Perfection! We pretend to be happy because we want everyone to think good things about us. We want to look like we "have it all together".

Lisa points out "Ms Happiness's A-plus efforts just aren't enough to produce the results she desperately desires." Ahem! Mrs. Whittle those are my toes you are stepping on.

Did my plastic grin make my pain go away? No. Did it make my fibromyalgia go into remission? Absolutely not. what about my client, were they any better. Umm, that would be a no as well. So all I did was waste energy trying to make other people think all was well. It wasn't.

So how do we get out of this fakeness, this happiness pretense? Get joy. I know, I know. You want to know how you can "get" joy. Lisa has the answer. "True joy comes from within when we are operating in our life in the way that pleases God."

So the very simplified steps are:

• Make sure you have the Holy Spirit living inside you (if you are not sure about that visit here)
• Find out what pleases God (i.e. read your Bible and pray)
• Apply those principles in your life consistently

Pretty simple huh? Let me close with what I think is Lisa's most important sentence in this chapter.

"When we go to the real Source of joy, we find the answers we need to secure our contentment in life forever."

As always, be blessed and from now on, be joyful!

Be sure to stop by Lelia's for more great insight and to fellowship with other's doing this study with us.

Ms. Perfection

Welcome to Yes to God Tuesdays. We are currently studying Lisa Whittle's book Behind Those Eyes. And boy is it one fabulous and challenging read. I hope you join us each week for this study. You are sure to be blessed.

**Remember direct quotes are in blue**

This week we met Ms. Perfection. Lisa tells the all too familiar story of the Christian family getting ready for church on Sunday morning- trying to look and act perfect. If you've been there and done that (even just this past Sunday) raise your hand. Okay I am sure there are a whole lot of hands up out there. Both mine are raised. We've probably all been guilty a time or ten.

May I ask you a question Lisa asked us ?

What do you feel makes us want people to see us as perfect?

In my humble opinion I believe it is the perception that Christians are supposed to be perfect. Because Christians have accepted Christ and the Holy Spirit now lives in them, they are supposed to be perfect. This belief is held by Christians and non-Christians alike. We're supposed to never have problems. We are supposed to never make a mistake or sin.

Ladies, let me just point you to Lisa's comment: It doesn't take us very long to see and know that in our flesh, perfection is not even remotely possible. The perception is a lie. A flat out lie. We are not perfect. We are not going to be perfect this side of heaven. What a shocker!

Now let's think this out. When we are trying to appear perfect or be perfect, where is our focus? Right. It is on ourselves. Our focus is on us trying to do something in our own strength and through our own power. We've taken our eye off God. We are inward focused and not upward focused. That is not behavior that is going to point anyone to God.

Another thing that came to me. If we are out there trying to pull off perfection, we are causing others to focus on us. They are comparing themselves to us. Some might get smug. Some might get depressed because they feel they fall short. Others might get resentful, wondering why we "have it all". I know. I've been all those people. And I've come to this conclusion. I never, ever want to be anybody's standard of excellence. I never, ever want anyone else to be my standard of excellence. I always want God to hold that position. He's the only one who can anyway.

One thing I can say about the speakers of Proverbs 31 Ministries is that they are forever pointing women right back to Jesus. At the She Speaks conference they told on themselves, shattering any thought that they were perfect. Why would anyone do that? I can't say with 100% certainty but let me give you my thoughts (and Lisa can correct me if I am wrong). By pointing out their own flaws and missteps, they become women we can really relate too. I don't know about you, but I don't have anything in common with Polly Perfection. In fact, she makes me sick (I'm just saying) But a Lisa Whittle, Renee Swope or Lysa TerKeurst? Them I can relate to. Real women telling their real stories.

Another thing is that by showing that they are not perfect, they point people straight to the one who can use us cracked pots. They lead us straight to the wheel of the Potter who can reshape and remold us into the beautiful creation that's been there all along. It gives us hope for ourselves ladies. I'd rather have that than fake perfection.

It's taken me a long time to get to this point. And I still struggle with it. I still struggle with this thing Lisa calls "trying to be the perfect Barbie (or in my case Kristie) for our Ken (in my case the brown one) in the hopes that he will love us more...or at the very least, that people will think he does". I need to not pin that on another imperfect human being. I need to let God love me more!

I also still struggle with the perfect mom syndrome because I have "been programmed to believe that behind every perfect child is a perfect mom." So I struggle with not being able to say like the other "perfect" bragging moms that my child has straight A's and never talks back. I'm getting over that. It's a struggle, but God is right there with me so it's okay.

I'll close with this: "Trying to be perfect is so exhausting, and there is never an end to it." So let's stop trying. Instead let's focus our energy on getting to know the One who actually can move us toward perfection. Notice I said toward. Once you're perfect you don't require so much of God now do you? At least in our flesh I believe that is how we would feel. I'm better with Him. How about you?

Be blessed ladies - not perfect!

And be sure to stop by Lelia's for more insight!

The Truth Hurts

Welcome to Yes To God Tuesdays (on Thursday this week). We are starting a new study this week with Lisa Whittle's Book "Behind Those Eyes" I'm excited about it and I hope you are too!

**All direct quotes will be in blue**

I could say I'm just posting my insights today because I was trying to help you savor the excitement of starting this new bible study. I could say that...but then I would be not be telling the truth. I would not be demonstrating authenticity at all. Of all the things I desire besides a thriving, growing, intimate relationship with God, authenticity is running a close second. Why? Because being authentic allows what God has done in me and in my life to shine through. I'd like to believe that this draws others to Christ. I'd like to believe it helps others connect to me because I'm not coming off as fake...or as Lisa would call it...a female impersonator.

I want what people see in me and experience when they are around me to be real, not like the movie set Lisa visited, where the beautiful houses were "facades with a good paint job and professionally maintained landscaping." No thank you to that.

Honestly, I miss the mark sometimes. I am sure I have "impersonated" someone I am not many times. Such as when I answer the phone in a sweet, pleasant voice as if all is well when I've just two seconds ago screamed bloody murder at one of my disobedient children. Or when someone says "Do you mind doing this or that" and I say "No, I don't mind", knowing all along 1. I don't want to and 2. All I'm going to do is complain later about "having" to do it! Despite these incidents, my heart's desire is to be authentic. That takes courage. I hope you are finding the courage to say no thank you to pretending. Just be you honey!

But how do we get there - how do we get to authenticity? Mind if I share my humble opinion? It is through our "Soul Craving." Lisa said that "women are yearning for something real. We're hungry for truth and authenticity. We crave honesty." She later says that "We want unconditional love. We desire to find purpose. We seek attention, and we crave acceptance." I have four words in answer to these cravings. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. All these cravings can be satisfied in the only One who can satisfy them all - God.

God the Father provides us with unconditional love. He speaks to us these words, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." (Jeremiah 31:3, NIV). Conditional love cannot be everlasting! 'Nuf said.

Christ gave us a purpose - "Love each other as I have loved you. " (John 15:12, NIV). We are purposed to "go and bear fruit- fruit that will last" (John 15:16, NIV). We are also to "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." (Mark 16:15, NIV). Finally we are to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30, NIV). If we truly lived all this out, we'd not have time nor inclination to attempt impersonation. And I'm talking to myself here too friends!

The Holy Spirit provides truth as we see in John 14:16-17 (NIV) where Christ said "And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever- the Spirit of truth."

Looking for acceptance? Remember that you are a Spirit-carrying member of "God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved." (Colossians 3:12, NIV)

Finally attention- how is that craving satisfied? God says "I will never leave you not forsake you." Now ladies, that's some attention!!

As we venture further into this book and we meet the ladies we impersonate (Ms. Perfection, Ms. Happiness, Ms. Confidence and Ms. Spirituality), trying to quench those soul cravings, let's keep our eyes and hearts on Him who can quench every thirst!

Stop by Lelia's and view her post from Tuesday. be sure to visit the blogs of the other participants as well for more blessings! Love y'all and see you next Tuesday!