A Different Response

I received some disappointing news today. Something I viewed as a great writing opportunity was snatched away. Nope. Sorry. We don't think so. I could have argued to regain it. Indeed, part of me was making a list and checking it twice. That part didn't win today. I'm not bragging because I'm still smarting over this. I'm struggling to not be bitter and spout off about how I feel I've been wronged.

Instead, I'm choosing to let God have his way. This was not for me. I wanted it. I had it. But God said no. And though I don't know the reason why, I'll accept it. Instead of pouting, whining or being bitter about it, I am choosing instead to meditate on and live out these two verses:

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7 (NIV)

and

"Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:5-6 (NIV)


It's a more pleasant response. I'm waiting on God to do something else, something new. "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)


Be blessed!

Mari

Are You Listening?

Do you ever find that is you look directly at someone, you can hear them better? It's like your listening skills suddenly improve by just engaging another sense, sight. I thought about this early one morning recently. I had the song, "Listen" by Trin-i-tee 5:7 on my mind. I hadn't heard it recently or anything. But I was reflecting on how I was really hearing God recently. You know..the LOUD and CLEAR kind of hearing. That caused the song came to mind. And of course, because I am strange jumble, I started asking myself what listening meant to me. Why was my "listening" and  subsequently, "hearing" so much better?

It is because my other senses are fully engaged. I'm walking around with my eyes open, really looking for signs and hints. When you seek, you find.  I've been reading the word "looking" for what new thing God wants to show me about that book or verse I feel I know so well or not so well.

I'm also touching. This past year I haven't written much. Over the holidays I realized through a sort bout with a dark period that seemed like depression that I have to write. Writing is what God wired me to do. It's how I connect all the dots He's showing me. It's one way I connect to Him. I need it like air. So I'm touching pen or pencil to paper, fingers to keyboard and God's heart for others with my words.


And I'm speaking. I'm praying. I got away from that during the holidays. Rick's back went out so a lot more stuff fell on my plate to handle. I got so caught up in my own pity party of  "I'm so tired, no one appreciates me, life is so hard, " that I forgot to lean on the One who could sustain me, renew me and carry me through. I hate when I neglect our relationship. Trust me, God never neglects me, but I often Him. Now though, we're back to regular conversations. A girl couldn't be happier.  :)

Listening. Seems so one-dimensional when you say it. But when you do it, I mean really do it, it's very multi-dimensional. So much of you is involved. And it's a sweet experience, be it with God or another person. Being a motor mouth myself, I don't listen enough. But that's changing now. Being an extrovert, I crave interaction. Listening is interactive. Who knew? LOL

My final thought was this: You can't experience the beauty of the conversation or message if you don't hear it. Are you listening?

Be Blessed!


Mari

The Moment I Knew...

I read a lot of writers and editors blogs. I belong to several writers groups online. I subscribe to writers magazines. I've been published in an anthology. My first devotional book was released in March. All that would seem to hint that I'm an author wouldn't it? Well, I haven't felt like one lately. I suffer with several chronic conditions, one of which is fibromyalgia. It's the one I despise the most. It takes the most from me. But, it helped me gain some recently.

Since we moved to North Carolina, for the most part, it's remained in remission. However, for the past two months, it's been raging on and off. Actually, more on than off. So my writing went into deep deep hiding. Did I mention deep? Actually a lot of things "went into hiding" but it was my lack of writing that really affected me.

I've read in so many places that "true" writers write because they have to, are compelled to. The only thing I felt compelled to do was nothing, absolutely nothing. I had no desire to write. That scared me. Was I a fraud? Was I not a true writer? Say it isn't so!

Okay, it isn't so. One day last week I took my personal laptop to work. During lunch I sat outside under a shade tree and opened up Word, hoping for something, anything. Tada! The words just flowed. I can't say I've written every day since then, but I've written more in the last week than in the past two months.

Honestly, after using all my energy to make it to work and back home, there's no way I could put together truly cohesive thoughts. I guess I could have tried, but honestly, it wasn't worth it to me. Am I still worried that I might not be a "real" writer?  Nope. My perspective has changed. When I'm in a fibro flare, if I can write, great. If I can't, that's fine too. I will not feel guilty because neither of those scenarios changes reality. The reality is that I am a writer. Period.

I felt truly energized when I wrote that one day at lunch. Every time I've written since then, I've felt energized. There are no forced words. They just leap on the page. I think that says it all for me. I've had my health imposed break. That's over. Now back to what I've been doing all my life, writing. That makes me happy.

Be blessed everyone!

Filling Up The Gas Tank

I'm on vacation from work this week. O HAPPY WEEK!!!! Yes it was time for a vacation. Everything and almost everyone was getting on my nerves. So, I'm home relaxing this week.


Let's see how relaxing this week. I'm doing laundry and running the oldest beauty to choir practice because she has a concert this week that I'll attend. I'm participating in the Muse Online Writers Conference while also trying to get some work done on one of my two works in progress (this one is an eight lesson bible study). Oh, did I mention my youngest beauty is still on break from school and so I'm spending some time with her when she's not texting or playing Toontown. Oh yeah, I'm also trying to beat my oldest beauty's score in Cafe World on Facebook. Hey, we're competitive like that. Makes for a strong mother-daughter bond.

Yep, I'm relaxing all right :)

But even with all that activity, I do feel relaxed. Why? Because I'm doing things I like, things I'm passionate about. Except the laundry. I am NOT passionate about laundry. Ever. Laundry aside, it is much more enjoyable to participate in activities you feel strongly about. Positive things create positive feelings and relieves stress.

I think that's why I love reading my Bible. There's so much hope there, so many places to go for encouragement, inspiration and instruction. I'll be spending a lot of time in my Bible this week. I know...one more thing on my "relaxing" schedule. It's much needed though. I need to fill up my spiritual gas tank before I return to Babylon, I mean work :)

How about you? Where is your spiritual gas tank this week? Full? Half Full? Running on empty? Fill up today. All it costs is a little time.

As always, be blessed!!

Take a Journey With Me

I'm spending six weeks finding out what things I need to focus on and possibly change to move me from where I am to where I want to be. Now, I won't reach the full destination in that time frame but at least I'll be on the way, traveling the road. I'm two weeks into this private coaching and it's really been eye opening. One of the areas we are looking at closely is work.

I have found that some of the stress I experience at work can be alleviated just by my response to it. I can also place my focus on a different area and voila, the problem area that frustrates me is suddenly taken care of. All of this from some simple self and situational evaluation. My coach asks me the questions and is able to direct me based on my answers. Sometimes she just has to point out that I already have the answer; I just didn't recognize it as such.

I had an "aha" moment tonight. That's how we need to approach our difficult situations. Instead of saying, "What am I going to do?", ask God what He's going to do or what role He wants you to have, if any. Instead of whining 'Why is this happening?" say "Well let's see what I can learn from this." Instead of getting frustrated, get on our knees or our face and pray. We need to change our focus from the human aspect to the God aspect, because there always is one. Amen?

Why don't we try that this week. Let's change our focus from people and situations to God and His power. If you're willing to take the challenge with me, leave a comment so I can pray for you on this little journey. I'll post next week how it's worked from me. And I look forward to your stories as well. You with me? Come on! Let's see what kind of joy ride God has in store for us!

As always, be blessed!

Mari