Friday, September 16, 2011

Frank Friday - I'm Off Duty

If you had ever asked my daughters what my husband says when I ask him how he liked dinner, they'll tell you that he  always says "It was alright." That's it. No "it stank" or "it was good" or anything like that. He just says, "It was alright." Honestly, it offended me. So did I try to probe him to see how it could be better? Of course not. That would be the mature, logical thing to do. And I was never feeling that kind of way. In fact, I'll go even further than that. When he would offer constructive criticism, I got mad. I never listened so I could incorporate the things he was telling me. Oh no! Again, that would require maturity, logic and humility. And again, I was never feeling that kind of way. (Not that I'm proud of that. I'm not. I'm just being honest about my junk)

But then......

If you read this post, you'll know I'm committed to deepening my relationship with God. I just need more of His presence in my life. See the previous paragraph for an example of why that's true. There's a teeny, tiny catch to that commitment. Okay, maybe it's not so teeny or tiny. The more of God's presence I feel in my life, the more it changes me.  That transforming presence made me care more about my husband's meals. That's a big deal because my husband is picky. Very, very picky. When he says "I'm hard to cook for aren't I?" I don't bother to respond. It's a rhetorical question!

Despite that, I started to really take my time cooking everything instead of rushing through dinner just so I could say I was done. I started paying attention to those little details. You know, the ones he had tried to tell me about a million times. The ones I ignored a million and one times. But I wasn't doing that anymore. Then a funny thing happened. Well two funny things. One, I enjoyed cooking more. Maybe it's because I was doing it out of love instead of duty. Just maybe. The second thing, that is now a common occurrence, is that he complimented me. He said, "Are you cooking my meals with lots of love? I'm asking because this food is so very good." I almost passed out.

I figured it was a one time "slip up". But the next day he said "That was great. Thanks for cooking.  Do you want me to help with dishes?" Again, I thought the room might be spinning. It wasn't. It was just my head and heart realizing that I should have done this much sooner. I can't change the past, but I can sure keep the present in good shape.

I'm now evaluating other things that over time, I've started doing with only a sense of duty. I want to replace that with loving purpose. My family is not a duty. It's a privilege. And I plan on treating them that way in every area I possibly can. I wonder if they'll start thinking the room is spinning?

How about you? Is there something you've started doing just to check it off your list? Is there something that you could do from the love in your heart instead of out of duty? Go ahead, go off duty. I dare you.

Blessings to you all,



Amy said...

Nice reminder!!!

I love your honesty.

I have been doing things for my husband lately too...not out of duty, but love. I am trying to do all of the errands & shopping type things that I can do while he is at work...which allows him to spend more quality time with us, as well as to get some much needed things done around the house that only he can do...and that makes him feel good to do for us.

Navigating & learning about life & love is a never ending journey....Thanks for sharing your heart so honestly.

This imperfect girl sure appreciates it.

I also need to save this post for my future daughter in law (who doesn't even exist in our lives yet), because my oldest son is a VERY picky eater. ;0)

God Bless,

lynnmosher said...

Yes, nice reminder! Great thoughts! Thanks so much, Mari. So glad to see you and thank you for visiting my blog. Bless you!

Mari said...

Thanks Amy! Yes life and love are definitely a journey. Hope this helps your future daughter -in-law. Just remember to tell hrr to keep a notebook and take notes of what he does and does not like. It will save her so much grief!

Mari said...

Hi Lynn, thanks for stopping by! I plan on visiting your blog more often. I've been slack in that area. Trying to get back on track now :)