It's A Big Day

July 6, 2012 is a very BIG day for my family. First, my baby girl turns sixteen. Sixteen y'all! I can hardly believe I've been loving and parenting this child for that long. Well, longer if you include the nine months I carried her. She and I have had our moments, good and bad. We make no bones about that. But no matter what, I love her fiercely because that's what us momma bears do.  

My time with her here under my daily care is quickly ending. It saddens me because I feel like there is so much more to do. I may never feel like she's ready go forth into the world. That is the peril of being a perfectionist Type-A momma bear :) I'm praying for wisdom for the two years I have before she's a college girl. And fun. Lord let there be some fun please. Amen. 

The other BIG thing that's happening is that we have another teenager moving in with us. Rick and I have agreed -- no we requested, that this young lady be allowed to come live with us. She needs a family to love on her and take care of her while she finishes her senior year of high school. She's a close friend of our oldest daughter. I'm tickled pink she's going to be staying with us. 

And even with that good feeling comes fear. It's a big deal to have THREE, count them, THREE teenage girls living in our house. God put it on our heart to do this. I know we're doing the right thing. Doesn't make it less scary though. I've sat and thought about how I've parented my own girls. Some things I think I did well. Others, not so much. I'm praying I do the right things over this next year. I'm counting on God to "make my paths straight" (Luke 3:4) 

Since He's the one that called us to do this, I'll be leaning heavily on Him to show me what to do and what to avoid. I've been doing that already but now with another life to pour into, I feel an even greater pressing need. I don't want my girls to ever feel neglected but I also know there are some specific things God has pressed upon in regards to my new "daughter". So I want to make sure there is balance and never any resentment.

I recall telling a friend, when she adopted a baby girl from China that I didn't think God would ever call me to add to our family like that. I mean really, her youngest was entering high school! And I was thinking to myself, "I'm struggling to parent the two I have. No way He'd ever ask me to take on more."

In her wisdom, she smiled at me and said "Stranger things have happened." Like agreeing to add a teenager to your house. This is why I regularly tell God he's a card. His sense of humor is so warped sometimes. But I like it anyway. So while He's getting a chuckle out of this, I know He'll be guiding me. 

I've chosen two verses for this new season based on two things:

 

1. I need God to do this
2. Anything good that comes from this is all God's doing. Rick and I just the instruments.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this" Psalm 37:5 (NIV)

"If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory dominion forever and ever. Amen" 1 Peter 4:11 (NKJV)

In parting, pray friends. Three hormonal teenage daughters and a "praying for menopause to show up any day now" momma bear.  That's all I'm saying :) Be blessed!

Mari

A Crying Mom

Let me state the obvious: Mothering teenagers is a tough job sometimes. I don't know about you, but sometimes I want to go to my room, close the door and cry. Wait. I don't just want to do that. I actually do it!

To read the rest, head on over to  WRAL. Leave me a comment if you'd like :)

Be blessed!

My If Onlys......

I can remember when my girls were babies. One adored the baby swing and would have joyfully lived her life in it. The other hated it and would grab the legs to shake herself free.


Now that my babies are 15 and 13, I'm reflective on things I would have done differently.

Knowing what I know now, here's what I would have changed:


To read the rest, hop on over to WRAL.com's GoAskMom blog where I am the guest blogger for the day!

Just Like Momma

When you were younger did you ever say "I want to be different from my mom or my dad?" I think I said it a few times. Silly me!

Now that I'm a momma, I realize I'm a lot like my mom. When I had a big exam or project, she always stayed up with me. Even though she couldn't help me with Organic Chemistry or Calculus, she never left me alone. She'd always stay up to encourage me, ask me if I thought it would be better to sleep for a while and to make sure I didn't pull all my hair out. LOL

I found myself doing the same thing last night, as I have on several other nights. My oldest beauty had another portfolio (read several mini-projects and worksheets) due. As usual, she had a way to go before she was done. I could not leave her up by herself. I had to stay up. I wasn't going to do the work for her, just like my mom didn't for me, but I could stay up to support and encourage her. So I did.

Just like momma.

She loved me the best way she could in that situation. And I extend that same kind of love to my daughters. And guess what? I'm okay with it. I really don't mind loving them just like momma, because with age and station in life has come wisdom. Thank goodness for that!

What do you look at differently now that you're older or in a different stage or station in life? Think about it and leave a comment :)

As always, be blessed!

Labor Meme

I'm playing along with Rocks In My Dryer today with a little labor meme.

How long were your labors?

Daughter #1, 20 hours.
Daughter #2, 2.5 days
Daughter #2 started labor on July 4 and did not decide to come out until July 6. The pains kept coming close, spacing out. I was SO tired by the time she came I was just like, evict her NOW! She's still slow

How did you know you were in labor?
Daughter #1, excruciating pain radiating to my back. I wanted to die.
Daughter #2, excruciating pain, radiating to my back. The pains would come close but not close enough to go to hospital, stay that way for 4-5 hours and then space out. I wanted to die.


Where did you deliver?
Two different teaching hospitals in Chicago.

Drugs?
Well now, here is the rub. With Daughter#1 I wanted drugs becaue I was in so much pain. The nurse said, "Okay, as soon as we break your water." My water hadn't broken and the pains were already off the chart on that monitor thing they hook you up to. It was kind of odd that I was only 4 cm. So they broke my water and I asked for my drugs. BUT... I suddenly felt the urge to push. The nurse came back and said "Oh mommy, we cannot have drugs now because you are now 9 cm and we need to deliver the baby now. " My response? "Who the heck is WE? I want the drugs, NOW!" But no, I could not get them. I was not happy. I tried to jump off the table to choke the drugs out of the nurse but hubby would not let me. I blame the pain for said behavior.

With Daughter #2 I was very tired. I mean really, 2.5 days of dealing wtih labor pains? I wanted drugs. I needed drugs. My precious husband, who was trying to be encouraging, said, "You are strong. You can do this without drugs, just like with daughter #1. " Ummm, that was *not* the right answer. I looked at the doctor and said "I'm tired and in pain. Get me that epidural, NOW!" I meant that in the nicest way :) And I blame the pain for said behavior.

C-section?
Nope

Who delivered?

Both by doctors.
Daughter #1 was delivered by a woman OBGYN.

Daughter #2 was delivered by a male OBGYN that I inherited when his female partner left the practice. I was too far along to go looking for a new practice. He did a good job. He didn't mind when I called him on July 6 and said, "I want her out now. If she's not here in 2 hours, I am coming to your house. I know where you live." I meant that in the nicest way :) I blame the pain for said behavior.

Come play along. Stop by Rocks In My Dryer, leave a comment with a link to your meme post.

Happy Labor Day!

Thankful Thursday

It's Thankful Thursday! So last week I wrote about my oldest beauty. Today I'd like to give my younger beauty the spotlight.

We recently were trying a new devotional technique. We spent thirty-three minutes in time of prayer and devotion. We choose thirty-three because it represented one minute for each year of Jesus' life here on earth. I wondered if my beauties were getting anything out of this time together. I prayed and asked God to show me if they were. I received my answer in the form of a letter from my younger beauty. Here is a snippet of what she wrote.

“You are a very important Christian lady in my life.”
“I may act like I don’t care about you or God or anything else but me and what I want, but I do care about you and God a lot! I’ve been trying hard to be good and not be bad but it’s hard to do. But I try hard for you anyway. I thought you would care to know this about me.”

• I am thankful for the tears I cried when reading this.
• I am thankful that God has blessed me with two great children.
• I am thankful that God blessed my obedience to keep them in His Word
• I am thankful that my younger beauty chose to bless me with written words because they bless me so much
• I am thankful that at 12, she still thinks I am important to her
• I am thankful my baby loves her some God!
• I am thankful we received confirmation that her foot is not broken (YES!)
• And I am thankful that I can share all this with my bloggy friends

Please stop by Sting My Heart and see what everyone is thankful for.

Blessing to you all!

Brokenness

I spent a good part of Saturday afternoon at the urgent care center with my youngest beauty. We are waiting on confirmation from the radiologist, but it appears she may have broken a bone in her foot. She's hoping this is not the case because cheerleading tryouts start this Thursday.

So what did I learn about God in this experience? Well let's start at the beginning of the story.

Her foot was injured Friday night during a sleep over. There were four extra girls at our house. As usual when there are girls over (and who else would be sleeping over since we have two daughters), hubby and I closed our bedroom door. That's just his thing. He feels more comfortable that way. The girls know if they need us to barge in like they usually do, I mean knock. They all slept in my older beauty's room because it's the larger of their rooms.

Apparently, my little beauty was trying to go potty around 3 AM. She got out of bed, tripped over one of the girls sleeping on the floor and slammed her foot into the dresser. OW! Now the logical thing to do is to get mom or dad. But no, she and her friends tried to "handle" the situation because, after all, the door was closed and it would be rude to wake me. And besides, they knew what to do.

Aren't we like that? Perhaps we experience a trial or have a decision to make. The logical (and wise) thing to do is to seek God so that He can impart His wisdom to us. But what do we do sometimes? We start worrying, calling our friends for their opinions, or we start devising a plan. We never even think to ask God. But that is just what He wants us to do. The Bible tells us to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1Peter 5:7, NIV)

So I did not have the benefit of icing it down, administering anti-inflammatory medication or elevating the foot. When I discovered her grossly enlarged foot the next morning, I found out what had transpired. I had no idea if we needed a doctor visit or if it was just sprained. I was upset that she did not come to me (or send her sister since she could not walk on it). I pleaded with her to make sure she came to me right away if another such emergency occurred. I am certain God feels the same way. He is always there, waiting to help when we call. David said "Evening, morning and noon, I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice" (Psalm 55:17, NIV)

Around noon, after finally having done the things I would have done the night before, my husband and I made the decision that an urgent care visit was in order. I helped her get dressed because she could not put any weight on the injured foot. In order to get her to the car, I got on her right side so she could use me as her "weight bearer". This reminded me of the scripture that says, "Carry each other's burdens" (Galations 6:2, NIV). I was happy to do it. In the same way we need to rely on God and also those He sends to provide assistance. Let's not get too proud to receive a little burden sharing and carrying.

At the urgent care center we sat for a long, long, long time. I was okay until a lady that came in one hour after we had arrived was called to see the doctor. Then yet another person, who had only been there 45 minutes was called to see the doctor.

Being in momma bear mode at this point in the day, my gut instinct was to get irate. After all, we had "only" been sitting there for over 2.5 hours! I thank the Holy Spirit for whispering this verse to my heart, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you." (Proverbs 25:21-22, NIV)

I put on my "nice lady" voice and asked when my daughter would be seen since we'd been there almost three hours. I mentioned that other people who came in after us had been called. The one lady tried the "let's act indignant" attitude with me, but I just smiled. I wanted to strangle her (Lord forgive me for thinking that but that's the truth) but I smiled. One of the nurses heard what was going on and said "I'm not sure what happened but your daughter will go next and we will make sure the doctor sees her before the others who were just called." YES! I could see that someone had messed up because she gave the indignant lady one of those looks you give your kids when they've messed up and you want them to know there will be a "talking to" later.

This turned out to be the nurse who waited on us. She was great. We saw the doctor right after they took x-rays. The doctor was lovely to us as well. I wondered how this would have played out had I been rude earlier. Maybe not so well.

The x-rays require a second opinion from a radiologist. They think she has a fracture at the base of her big toe (well it's actually further down than where we think the big toe "ends'). We have to wait for the final word. We were given instructions to follow in the interim. My daughter was none too happy about the "blue shoe". She thinks it's hideous and messes with her "coolness" I was tickled so I said "What-evah, you gotta wear it girlie." I like to tease her because she takes it all in stride.

The blue shoe also inspired a "God thought". How often are we waiting for an answer to a prayer. God may instruct us to do some things that we don't really want to do. But they are necessary during our waiting period. Maybe it's necessary because it is part of our answer.

Think back to the story of Naaman (2 Kings 5). Elisha told Naaman to wash himself seven times in the River Jordan to be healed of his leprosy. Naaman had no desire to do that because 1. It sounded ridiculous, 2. the Jordan seemed to be inferior water to him than other waters and 3, He wanted "personal" attention from Elisha. He did finally do it after whining a while. And the result? He was healed. Is my daughter wearing her sporting new blue shoe? Yep! Does she like it? Nope! But she understands that this will aid in the healing process. This time, prudence wins out over fashion!

So now we wait for our answer. Once we get the answer we'll know the next steps to take to make sure her foot heals, whatever the problem truly is. And my link to God on this one?

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." (Psalm 27:14, NIV)
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope" (Psalm 130:5, NIV)