Turn It Around Tuesday - When The Rain Is Pouring

These last few weeks have been quite a ride. Unfortunately, I don't mean that in a fun, exhilarating way. First, my cousin had a stroke and now has paralysis on the right side of his body. Last week my uncle had a stroke. Yesterday my mom called to tell me that one of my cousins was killed. A bullet came through the window, striking and killing him. There are other smaller things that have occurred but nothing like the "big three". I almost cringe when the caller ID announces it's my mom, because I'm dreading more bad news.

This torrent of discouraging news could have shaken my faith. I could have gotten angry with God. I could have thrown up my hands and said, "That's it. I'm tired of this. I quit!" I've been tempted to do that a time or two or thirty in my life. But this time I wasn't there. That wasn't in me. (Right here is where we can give God a clap offering!) Are you wondering why it wasn't in me? Great, because I'm going to tell you why.

I've accepted a church-wide challenge from my pastor to "practice God's presence" at least five minutes every day. In other words, sit in stillness and quiet for at least five minutes thinking on, waiting for and anticipating God's presence and hopefully at some of these sessions, a message from God. This isn't a new concept for me. The problem is that I've never consistently done it. But now I am determined. Why now? Now, because I am desperate to grow closer to God. Now, because it's just time to further solidify my relationship with Jesus.

I read something recently by C.S.Lewis that said we need to become dyed and not painted. I'm afraid all these years I've been painted. Paint fades, chips and peels. That's how I've felt recently. Temporary is no longer good enough. I want permanency. So I'm ready for my dye job. Ever dyed your hair? The dye has to sit for a good little while to actually "take". So I'm going to sit each day for God's presence to "take" in my life. I'm excited about that.

So when that rain came pouring down in the form of bad news after bad news, issue after issue, there was God. In my time of quiet and even throughout my busy days, He spoke two things to me.

1. I'm still in control. You might not understand what I'm doing. And I know that frustrates you. But trust me. I've always been in control. I'm in control now. I'll be in control in the future. That's never going to change. Let me be me and you simply trust me. I'll never fail you. Never.
2. Your days were numbered before you were born. I know the day I will call you home heaven. You don't know if that day will come now or ten years from now. Consider each day a gift from me. Unwrap it and choose how you will use it.

Psalm 90:12 says, "So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom."  That is my prayer each day now. Instead of turning my thoughts to worry and anger over problems, issues, situations and circumstances, I now chose to turn my thoughts to God and how what He's doing can teach my something. Yes, even the things I don't like. Even the things that hurt. Especially the things I don't understand. I'm not perfect with it yet. Never will be. But I choose to keep practicing His presence and His way of life for me. Will you join me? I promise it will change your life in the most marvelous way!

Blessings to you all,

Mari

Wrestling Match

Have no fear. I'm not going to be discussing WWE or WWF or whatever wrestling "organizations" exist these days. Although, there was a time eons ago that I used to watch "professional" wrestling with my mom. Not sure why she was into that, or why I got into it, but we bonded over many a Von Erich match. Don't judge.

Anywho......

This weekend I spent some time wrestling with God. You see, there are some things in my life that are not as I would like. There were some things that happened last week that I'd really wish hadn't. There are some plans I had for the summer that God effectively shut the door on. Let me just tell you, one of them really broke my heart. I can almost feel the physical pain. Did I mention that it really broke my heart?  It did. And so, I got a little down. Okay, a lot down.

My husband has a knack for knowing when I'm wrestling with God. On Sunday he asked if I was having a "want to cry about it day". Why, yes, yes I am I responded. He thought laying down and resting might cure me. As much as I appreciate his efforts to help and console me, I knew that wasn't the solution. I needed to go to the source. And that meant a wrestling match.


I went over to my footstool, plopped my pillow on it and started to pray. And cry. See, this is nothing like professional wrestling. This is the "get down on your knees and beg God to help you be content" kind of wrestling. It's the "ask God why you can never seem to maintain your joy" kind of fight. This is the "asking God why he can't won't show you the "better plan" He has so at least you can feel better" kind of wrestling. It is the "list everything you see wrong with your life at this valley moment" kind of fight.

This, my friends, is what faith is about. It is following God no matter what. Even when we don't want to. Even when it doesn't make sense. Even when we feel justified in being a Jonah. Even when we're mad at God.


Even then, we go to Him. Because only He can make sense of it. Only He can help us walk through it even when it doesn't make sense. Make no mistake. It's not easy. That's the part I often struggle with. I want it to be simple to follow and trust. I want it to be easy to be content. It's not. At least not for me. I know I am tremendously blessed. There are so many things for which I am grateful. But contentment and complete trust in God is still not easy for me. But at the end of the day, as I lay my head on my pillow, I know that God is ready for our next wrestling match. And I think that's a good thing. Because when I stop wrestling with Him, it means I've given up and walked away from my faith. And that will never do. I'd rather wrestle like Jacob did  (Genesis 32:22-32) and walk away with a limp. At least I'll still be walking with God.

Amen?


How about you? Have you ever wrestled with God? Tell me about it.




As always, blessings to you!

Mari

Work Needed

My writers critique group was tonight. This was my month to present. I decided that I wanted them to critique two of the devotions I plan to use in my next devotional book. I felt the concept for it was good because, well, God gave it to me! And just like the book that is currently being edited by my publisher, it was one I wasn't sure I wanted to write. But the Holy Spirit is **SO** persistent! Anywho.....

So I put my work in the hands of these wonderful ladies and prepared to listen to their comments and suggestions. And boy there were a lot of them! They confirmed that the concept is brilliant. Can we get a little clap praise for the Lord? He's never wrong by the way :)

But then came.....the places where it needed work. Whoa Nelly! It needs work! Now don't get me wrong. I did not come away feeling like the work was crappy. I came away with some wonderful ideas for how to improve and enhance it. I came away with ideas that will make it marketable to more women than I originally thought. I was already passionate about it, but now, NOW I am ready to get rocking, rolling and writing. My heart is on fire anew for this work. And I can't wait for y'all to read it! And you will, as soon as I finish writing it and selling it ;)

So let me throw this little bit out to you. This was only possible because I was willing to be teachable. I was willing to accept some criticism. I was open to suggestion. Being closed to pride was my goal. Because of this attitude, the book will be better. In fact, I believe the book will be great!

We need to be that way with God because, frankly, we could all wear a "work needed" sign. Sometimes He's telling us we need to change. Or we need to do something. Or stop doing something. We need to be teachable and open to a little "holy criticism". We need to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit whispering to us. We need to be closed to pride. And because of that attitude, we will be better. We will be blessed.

Get blessed today!

He Spoke a Promise to Me

So let me tell you about the promise I received at She Speaks. It really tied together the entire weekend.

Sunday morning during Renee's talk, she directed us to go to one of the crosses and take a card with a promise from the bible. I waited back a bit because I needed to do some business with God before I went to the cross.

I sat. I prayed. "Lord, you know who I really am inside. You know my past sins and you know the ones that I am currently struggling with. I know You are God. No, You are Lord God Almighty. I am putting myself at the foot of the cross today, literally and spiritually, and I am asking you an important question. I know you are able to do this, because nothing is too hard for You. I'm not asking if you are able. I'm simply asking if you are willing to restore me to You. Are you willing to take me back, to allow me to be wooed by you again, to allow me to press into you and incorporate into the core of my being all You are to me and all You have for me? "

The tears just poured. I got into the line, tears streaming down my face and went to the cross. The whole time I was moving toward the cross I was whispering under my breath, "God I hope you are willing." I finally made it to the cross and picked up my card. I was afraid to read it. So I waited until I was back at my seat. I closed my eyes and said "God, I hope my answer is on this card."

The promise on the card was Psalm 25:4-5:

"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."

...you are God my Savior.....

"Yes Mari, I will restore you. I already have. That's why I went to the cross, to restore you to me. Never doubt my love for you. I am God Almighty. Be restored. Walk before me and be holy."

And the tears flowed. I put down my head and sobbed. I had just spoken on Friday night about how I wanted people to know through my writing that their sin was not too big nor their pain too deep for God. God showed me that to teach it to others, I needed to live it out myself.

Saturday night Jennifer Rothschild told us that the content of our lives is what truly ministers. Earlier that day I learned in Karen Ehman's class that we need to not just give a good report but actually live our message.

God had already given me my life verse, Genesis 17:1, which says to walk before Him and be blameless. Sunday morning, He gave me the instructions for being blameless:

• Allow Him to show me His ways
• Allow Him to teach me His paths
• Allow Him to guide me in His truth
• Allow Him to teach me

My promise: My sin is not too great. My pain is not too deep. Christ died to be able to restore me when I walk on a path He's not designed for me. I just need to find my vision for Him again and He'll light the way. I can walk before God and others, knowing He's always right there.

Thank you Father. I love you and adore you!

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. ~ Ephesians 3:17-18 (NLT)

An Alternate Universe

I just completed my first internet radio show. I know some of you are saying, "Well she didn't invite me." Honestly I wanted to see how things went before I spread the word on here ;-)

Now that it's over, I can officially say it was a hoot! I was a panel member on the show. It was hosted by the CEO of Extreme Diva Media, which is the company that is publishing my two books. It was like girlfriends talking and laughing. I'm hooked!

So I'll be there most Monday nights. Next Monday I might be late. I have to go to ::gasp, gasp:: a meeting about high school. My oldest is in her final semester of middle school starting next Wednesday. Excuse me a moment while I wail like a baby. (WWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH)

Honestly, between the books, the internet radio show and my child preparing for high school, I feel like I have been transported to an alternate universe. Y'all pray for me. I might not make it!
This is a lot at once. I mean really y'all, pray!

Okay now that I've gotten that off my chest :) if you have time stop by one Monday night and visit with Jean Ann and the ladies from Diva Celebration. Yes that includes me from time to time. I promise it will be fun and informative! Here's the link. And do not laugh at me when you stop by. Y'all should already know by now I am not playing with a full deck of cards.

I love you guys. Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you all. Now, duty calls. I have to go make my word count for the day (yeah that's writers talk) Egads, it's the alternate universe again! J/K

As always, be abundantly blessed!

I Will Not Be Deterred

Well after two days of excruciating abdominal pain I finally went to the doctor. No diagnosis yet, just theories. I have to go for some additional testing on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I have some medication she hopes will help with the pain. I hope it works because I need to get back to Jesus. I have been so diligent about praying and reading my bible in the morning and before bed. But when you spend three hours crying because you feel like you want to die, it kinda doesn't happen. And when you oversleep for work because you've been up half the night, you don't have the time to read before you leave.

But I will not be deterred. If I have to put in my audio bible while I'm writhing in pain, I'll do it. I'll pray in the car on the way to work or while I'm brushing my teeth. I'll just be kneeling in my heart. Why? Because I feel like a flower in need of water. I need the Living Water. And I need Him in good measure. This life is too hard without Him. Jesus said "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." (John 7:37-38, NIV) And Lord knows I need a good long drink of Jesus!

My desire is to be like the believer described in Psalm 1:1-3; "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is on the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

So If y'all will excuse me, I'm going to go to Jesus, drink in His love and sink my roots deeper into the Word. Have a blessed night all!